Madhuban Newsletter in English and Hindi - May 2022

29 April 2022

Dear Centre Coordinators,

Please find links for downloading the Madhuban Newsletter for May 2022 with points for 1-31 May in English and Hindi.

In Baba's yaad,

Rajubhai

Murli Department, Madhuban

 

 

Madhuban Newsletter in English

 

Madhuban Newsletter in Hindi

 

 

 

 

 

Sudesh Didi – 24th April 2022 Sunday Morning Class - GCH, London Accurate Mercy

27 April 2022

Om Shanti. Om Shanti. Om Shanti.

What really is Shanti?  Baba speaks about not only Shanti, but Sukh Shanti, happiness, Shanti, when there is Santoshtti, that is contentment, the mind is peaceful and happy also. The line of the song is: In order to become happy, what it is we need to be or we need to have. In order to have happiness in our lives, or in order to have a happy world, we need to become merciful. In Hindi expression, it is rahem dil. There's a difference between rahem dil and only mercy or merciful. Baba is praised more as rahem dil, merciful than loveful. God is love. Some believe that, they praise God, saying God is Love. But most of the time, in the prayers they would say, "Oh God, have mercy on me," or they would ask for blessings.

 

So, God is praised as the Merciful, Loveful and Knowledgeful. The most important aspect to become merciful, full of mercy in every aspect; in order to have mercy on others, is, I first have to have mercy on myself. Mercy on myself is based on love for myself. Love for myself means love for my happiness, love for my peace, love for my success in life and love for my progress.

But what is love based on? its knowledge, accurate knowledge accurate understanding.  When I say mercy, I mean rahem dil, mercy from the heart but most of the time, when we have mercy, not based on accurate knowledge, that mercy results into a curse for the self. Mercy becomes a curse for the self, love becomes a curse for the self, if it is not based on clear knowledge, accurate knowledge and accurate understanding.

 

Generally, we have mercy for others when someone is very sick; someone who was very wealthy have become poor; someone has lost their near and dear, which was the only support in their life. We also have very much love for our near and dear relatives, friends. If something happens to them, we feel very sad.  Because of that, what we are losing is our inner power. We want to give love to them, we want to support them; but instead of having mercy, if I am influenced by the weaknesses or suffering of others, I have lost the aim of becoming powerful and merciful.

 

I need mercy with knowledge if I want to really help them. Mercy means help; mercy means cooperation. Mercy does not mean that only my heart is melted and I am not able to give anything. Donation, or mercy, is when you have mercy for someone, you want to give them immediate help; you want to save them. A poor person is really poor, and your mercy is immediately your hand goes in your pocket or your purse to give them some money. Someone is suffering and very hungry, and you know that he does not have anything to eat. You have mercy, even from your plate you have some food, you want to give them. You want to support them, give them. If I have mercy on others, and want to give help, I have to have a very accurate understanding.

 

God is merciful, He is loveful, and it is honest and real love that support the souls. The first thing is that He is beyond the influence of the suffering that we are having and has love. He does not take that sorrow within the self, but what do we do? We immediately become emotional and we take the sorrow of the others in ourselves first, and we make ourselves weak. In that weakness, we are not able to support others. We have had many examples, people working in hospital, and people working with disabled people. Eventually, they also experience the same situation because it is the effect of the weakness of others that is affecting us, influencing their situation.

Not able to help through inner power, we want to help through external support. But the most important is internal support, it is spiritual support when I have spiritual strength within myself and for that Baba says that we should first have knowledge, and have mercy on the self, that is, your stage remains stable, powerful and loveful and you have mercy on others.

 

Baba says mercy on yourself and mercy on others. When we want to help others, when we think that they are suffering, whether it is because of anger, or because of any particular habit, of course, our attention goes to them, but, if I need to be aware, that mercy is a real power to help others as well as myself. 

 

When I am farsighted, my inner insight is clear; knower of the three aspects of time. What would be the consequence if I have only external mercy or not honest mercy for my own self first? I need to protect myself so that I don't have the effect of weaknesses or defects of others. Baba says, have mercy on everyone because everyone has become poor, everyone has lost their real wealth, and everyone has become sick and diseased through five vices. This is why God is merciful.

 

Because of weaknesses, because of vices, because of defects, because of addictions, bad habits, we suffer in the form of karmic accounts, but in our everyday life, how many new karmic accounts we are creating in ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly? We forget to have mercy on ourselves, to make keep ourselves healthy, keep ourselves wealthy, keep ourselves powerful. Whenever there is any kind of progress somebody's making which blocks us from becoming real loving and real merciful for ourselves and for others, it indicates that we have one of the weaknesses that Baba speaks about today.

 

There are four reasons. The first reason is jealousy. Another reason is hatred. The third reason is I am influenced and affected by the weakness wise or shortcomings of others. The fourth reason is, that I'm very much impressed with myself. This vision of my farsightedness is very powerful. And near sight is very weak. I don't see what defects I have in myself. But I see the defects of others very clearly. And immediately, I lose my own property of peace, of love, of benevolence. I think I want to help them; I want to cooperate with them because it's my responsibility. It is my duty.

 

God says that we have to help Him, to cooperate in doing service, donate virtues to others, and to support others. Check if the I of arrogance comes in; am I really supporting? When I support, immediately I feel that, it is I who is helping this person. Immediately, ‘I’ comes, and ego comes in. I don't see the weakness in myself and I see the weakness in others. It could be that when somebody is progressing, very natural progress, and I am jealous, I don't realise that that person has made some extra effort and is eating the fruit of their own efforts or their own work on themselves, or the elevated karmic account of others. Why do I have to be jealous, as each one is eating their own fortune, receiving the reward of their own actions?

 

With jealousy, then I am having a curse on myself, then sometimes we say I have mercy on them because they have very bad habits. I immediately lose my temper on their bad habits, and I want to correct them in the name of mercy. Although they are doing something wrong, I don't have to lose my power to help them, through being loving and detached, with my inner love and disinterest from this world, there is an interest to cooperate with them.

 

The other aspect is carelessness: Everyone has this weakness. No, it doesn't matter if I'm weak, I will progress anyway. Everyone makes this kind of mistake. This kind of carelessness makes us forget that the real mercy on myself is when I pay attention to my own effort first. Otherwise, I am losing my time, I am destroying my own relationship with Baba, because when I am correcting others, without the consciousness of being loveful and lawful, with honest understanding, my attitude becomes different and we are not able to help each other. This becomes a curse for the self as well, because we are wasting our time.

 

We have to have a right, clear, deep understanding; mercy for the self is to make fast effort. I want to make fast effort, so, why am I blocked by others, seeing the defects of others? If I have disinterest in defects, why am I interested in gossip? If I have real interest in peace, why am I angry when another person is angry? That person is angry, and I am also angry, saying, I was peaceful, but because this person became angry, it made me angry.

 

Two wrongs cannot make a right. If I have disinterest in weaknesses, disinterest in vices, I will protect myself. But if I'm influenced by the weaknesses and vices of others, it means I don't have love for my true self. When we understand this secret, we are able to protect ourselves from the influence and we are able to cure our sickness of ego. Ego does not allow self-love. I think I love myself, but ego is I kill myself. So, I don't have mercy for my own self. And so very deep aspects of love and mercy. God is merciful, but because of the result of not having love for the self, and not having self-respect, we are not able to have mercy. 

 

Self-respect does not mean that everybody should respect me, and I put myself in a high position and I'm respectable or respect-worthy. No. I have respect for Baba's values, I have respect for my own values, and I begin to act on that respect. And what percent is that? To what extent am I acting on these values? There has to be a deep realisation, disinterest and accurate knowledge. These three things: accurate knowledge, disinterest from the things which are properties of Maya, and an interest and love for what God is giving me, then I will also become healthy, wealthy and happy, I should have mercy on myself, I have become bankrupt. What I was before, do I really believe that I was that? Or are you only hearing it thinking Baba is pleasing me to make me happy? You were double-crowned king. But internally, I don't have that faith, that intoxication, but have the ego of that, forgetting what is real and original. So, we have also lost everything and if I am bankrupt, how can I make others happy? How can I support others? If I am sick already, how can I help others?

 

So, help yourself and God will help you. With that power, you will be able to help others. So, love yourself. Then, you will be able to have deep love for Baba. Then, Godly love will have mercy on others without any influence, without any selfish motive, but with a very clear aim of self-progress, self-protection and fast speed to reach the destination of perfection.

Om shanti. 

 

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Sister Jayanti – 11th April 2022 Revision of BapDada’s Avyakt Murli of 10 April 2022 (19.03.1990)

27 April 2022

Om shanti. The teachers’ meeting is coming to its conclusion. It was 1800 senior, senior teachers and each one of them has maybe 4 to 10 to 20 people at their centre and maybe more in a retreat place. Asha Bhen has 100 plus, maybe more, so it was really very senior souls, sisters and brothers. And, then they also had 1500 assistants with them. They weren’t part of the meeting but they were around in Madhuban, of course, and so the atmosphere of Madhuban has been high energy, a lot of love. The meeting was filled with a lot of love and respect for everyone and, of course, Muni Bhen has such a big heart like Dadi Prakashmani, so every morning for our break we’d get a special drink and also we’d get fruits. So big change in Madhuban, away from tolis for the morning break at least. Then in the evening, yes, we’d get some toli and some solid something. Can you imagine orchestrating everything in this way. Lots of Madhuban news to share of course but let me begin with the murli and later if there’s time we can do that.

So, the situation with the murli yesterday, it was the Mother, really Baba, the Mother, speaking with the children, encouraging them, unconditional love, supporting them, and yet ironing out all the little grievances that they’d carried in their hearts and checking little things and Baba is saying that, that’s fine. Whatever it is just tell me about it and I’ll take care of it. So, it just reminded me of the Mother right from the beginning through the middle till the end. Baba began by speaking about the children’s zeal and enthusiasm and how happy he was to see them all. There were the old ones who had been with Baba for a long time and they came with that pure desire to experience the gathering and the meeting with the Father but also to experience coming closer to their own destination. The pure desire was to become complete. The bhavna was to experience the loving gathering and the kamna, the pure desire, was to become complete.

So Baba was saying that these words ‘new’ and ‘old’ are just an external reference but truly for the ones who have come now for the first time in the kalpa, Baba also sees that they are the souls who have come many, many times round the cycle and they come with that pure elevated thought that they want to become like the father very quickly. Then there’s the oldies, the old ones who have been with Baba for quite a while and seeing them Baba said, ‘Baba can see that your pure desire is to give the return of what you have received from the Father and so all of you have the wings of zeal and enthusiasm and this is what enables you to fly.’ And when you are able to fly, that zeal and enthusiasm is able to help you go beyond all the little trials and tribulations and the blockages, and all the bondages that may come in front of you. And, sometimes, when you are experiencing Baba’s love you fly so easily and yet at other times when somehow you don’t have that experience of the Father’s love then everything becomes a big deal and it becomes a huge thing and you wonder how you’re going to deal with it. So sometimes you get stuck, sometimes you get confused and really there is no need for that at all. Just remember that Baba’s heart is the place where you live, so being in Baba’s heart there’s safety and protection for you and what better place can there be than God’s heart. So, you don’t have to be confused, you don’t have to be worried. When it’s little things just see them as little. When it’s big things, again, see them as little because God is your Companion and you’ll be able to fly up above and go beyond these obstacles and all the bondages that may come in front of you. But, of course, when you don’t experience that same quality of love then you’re flapping your wings and getting a bit tired and at that moment you want to take help from Baba, yet you don’t quite know how to because you’re confused. Then at times you come across two different things, human love and God’s love and you wonder ‘how can I choose?’. Then you remind yourself that God’s love is never going to let you down. Human love is here today and gone tomorrow. So you don’t choose that, you choose God’s love but within that what you have to do is to make sure that you stay connected with Baba, otherwise that stage of confusion is an indication that the fuse has blown, that the connection with God has disappeared. But when you restore that connection with God then you know very clearly which direction it is that you have to go in. So Baba is emphasizing that when there’s energy, it’s like when someone is very weak, that even to lift a glass of water is an effort and they’re not able to manage it. And, yet, if someone is strong they can carry two bucketfuls of water, filled with water, and the other person can’t even lift a little glass. So, Baba’s point is that, when you’re strong you’re able to do everything and when you have your weaknesses that you’re thinking about, and the weaknesses that you’re living with inside yourself, they won’t give you the power and the courage to stay stable where you are. So, make sure that you don’t get confused, that you don’t blow a fuse but that you connect with Baba and through that the whole family around you also will benefit. So Baba talked about many things about confusion and being able to fly or not fly.

Another thing that happens with Baba’s children, there’s zeal and enthusiasm when there's a special task. Maybe it’s a task of gyan or yoga. Maybe it’s a task of people out there and service, and when that happens at that moment, there’s a lot of enthusiasm that they experience but when they’re not in that role of giving gyan and teaching others and having yoga, conducting yoga, etc., then at that moment they lose their enthusiasm and their zeal. When it’s a special time the zeal and enthusiasm is there but when it’s an ordinary mundane routine thing then they somehow lose that. So, Baba is saying, well that’s not your natural state. Whatever the external circumstances may be, whether you’re washing the dishes or whether you’re doing the cleaning, it’s okay, remember who it is you’re doing this for. You’re doing it for God. So in that consciousness then you keep your zeal and enthusiasm.

I’ve shared that story of Baba taking the big tray of grain at night and cleaning it and, of course, everyone wanted the same tray to do it themselves because Baba was doing it. Baba did it with such love, zeal and enthusiasm. How much of the sweet cracked wheat halva was Baba going to eat? He would eat just a tiny bit but he wanted to feed the children, so that zeal and enthusiasm. Baba took one tray, someone took it from him and they started cleaning it. Another person came and took the second tray and within 15 minutes a sackload of cracked wheat had been cleaned and it was ready then for grinding and for making the halva the next morning. Because Baba wanted to feed the children hot, hot halva as it was monsoon time and it was raining and things were a little bit damp and cold. So Baba’s enthusiasm found a way to create enthusiasm in everybody else. But my point is that within that enthusiasm it was work that was being done. Baba didn’t think, oh dear, the sackful of wheat hasn’t been cleaned. How are we going to manage it and really it’s a bit late in the day to try and start thinking about this. Maybe we postpone it. None of those thoughts. Baba saw the weather. Baba saw that the children were a little bit cold and Baba decided that this was the way to create that inner heat within them. Not just the cracked wheat halva but also the love. That Baba has specially had this made for us with such love and so cleaning grains, cleaning wheat, it’s a thankless task, you can keep going and keep going and there’ll be little bits and how long can you keep going and yet with Baba everything got done in half an hour because everyone’s finger of cooperation happened because Baba was doing everything so enthusiastically.

The time an assassin came to try and kill Baba, and Baba was doing the laundry and washing the clothes and Baba heard that this person has come and Baba knew that the intention wasn’t right and Baba met that person and there was a lot of joy and enthusiasm in the way in which Baba handled everything. So, just to make sure that whatever it is you do, do it with love and enthusiasm and zeal ,with that energy and joy, and it’s going to be fine. It’s going to be very, very good.

Baba was also concerned about how children get a little bit bored and Baba’s solution was very lovely. When you get bored it’s when you think I’ve got to remember the dot, I’ve got to remember the point and think about God the point. Well, you are going to get bored with that. But Baba is offering us so much more than that. Baba is saying to experiment with all the attainments that you can receive from God. Experiment with all the virtues that you can receive from God. Experiment with all the relationships you can have with God and experience those. So, keep your mind occupied. Don’t let your mind become vacant and dull but keep it engaged, with interest, with zeal and enthusiasm, being part of everything yet at the same time being the detached observer internally, so that none of the outside is able to impact you inside. And, Baba said when you read the murli, again, don’t just think I have to be the point of light but Baba is reminding you through the murli of the zero and hero, so be the hero, be the one who is able to do whatever is possible in a beautiful way through the whole cycle. You have played many roles and what you can do now is to just make sure that you become the hero and that you’re thinking about playing your role with Brahma Baba. Baba said how so many of Baba’s children have special love for Baba, especially Brahma Baba and so think about Brahma Baba, think about your role with Brahma Baba in Sangam Yuga, be able to create your part in everything beautiful that’s going on in Sangam Yuga. And then what you do is think about how you’ve played your role with Brahma Baba through the whole cycle. How at the end of the cycle Baba found you and made you belong to Him. So think about many different things, except humans. Think about God, think about God’s knowledge, think about what God is offering you. And, so be ready to take that and as you take it you develop the power so then you really are the one who has to face everything but you do it with God’s love, with that power. And, so Baba is teaching us methods with which to go beyond the sameness, the sameness that can sometimes bring about dullness and a lack of enthusiasm. So, yes, do all the things you need to do but the consciousness with which you do it is with love and joy. That makes it very, very simple and easy.

Baba then spoke about how everybody has full marks in love. Baba has often told us this but again it was a lovely reminder from Baba. All of you have full marks in love but what you also have to do now is to make sure you remain safe so that Maya isn’t able to catch you. If you stay under the protection of the canopy of love, or you stay inside in God’s heart, Maya cannot touch you, she cannot reach you there. And, what it means in practical life is that if really I’m experiencing God’s love then everything else is secondary, and I say to myself, all of this can wait, I’ll come back to it when I can but at this moment I want to spend my time with Baba and renew that zeal and enthusiasm that I had before.

Another thing that Baba saw, Baba was seeing that the children are very honest and Baba often mentions this, that the children from abroad are very ready and open to share whatever it is that’s going on. There are some who are a bit reticent but yet also there are some who don’t agree, who don’t accept and they want to start their own thing. They want to do things in their own way, and so Baba is saying, ‘no, just stay under that canopy of protection’. And what I loved very much was when you’re seated in God’s heart Maya does not even approach you. Maya sees that you are with God, that God is with you and at that moment nothing else matters. So, don’t step outside that boundary, that limit that God has given. Stay within that, of just the remembrance of just One and that’ll keep you safe.

So, a very beautiful murli that was very practical. I’m sure that there’s many bits that I haven’t mentioned but this is the summary of the murli of yesterday. Just a lot of love and Baba spoke about how sensitive the children are. Sometimes very honest and that’s great but at times they are so honest that they can’t cope with it. They’re not able to deal with it and so Baba’s saying that all of you are Brahma Kumars and Kumaris and so all of you are the children of Shiv Baba and Brahma Baba and so Baba wants all of you to be able to progress and move forward. So Baba is giving us all His love and support and encouraging us. Baba had also spoken to us about how sometimes you get to a point where you say is it this way or is it this way? And, you just have to stop and be silent and let the mind be quiet and then with Baba’s signal and help you’ll know which place to direct your energy to. So, don’t allow confusion to last because it’ll drain you of energy but see what you can do. And, not to be sensitive. For Baba it’s whimsical but here’s a person who definitely knows their weaknesses but they keep thinking about that weakness all the time and that’s not enabling them to let go of that weakness, however, you tell Baba, you let Baba know and then you leave it to Baba. You don’t have to think about it any further. So, what we do, Baba said, a) you keep thinking about your weakness – you’ve given it to Baba but you’re still holding on to it and saying ‘this is mine, this is mine’. Now, be ready to let go of it so then you’re free and you know that it’s me and God and my karma, nothing else at all. And, so, not to be whimsical, which means not to be ultra-sensitive about anything.

And then Baba had another comment and that was about how children are doing great service but children sometimes say to Baba ‘how come there was no success?’ And, it’s like they’re blaming Baba for that. Let them calm down and then explain to them. It’s God’s work, it’s not you, it’s not me, so I do what I can. Let me plant whatever it is that’s possible, but I can’t say that I did this, I did that. That fragility comes across when sometimes the soul is, at that moment, really just saying that, you know, I did so much and I’m not seeing any results and Baba saying ‘You did so much? No you didn’t. I’m the One who made it happen through you.’ And then, of course, that realization, it’s not I, it’s God. I do the best that I can. I plant the seeds that I ca,n but can I control the sunshine so that there’s enough light? Can I control the light in the room? Lots of things that are not possible for me to control. So let me let go of this idea that I did anything, or I am responsible for this or this or this.

And so it was a beautiful murli, very loving, very caring and Baba was reminding us all of who we are, Who is with us and where it is we need to go.

Aruna: There was that whole section about cleverness. Remember Baba said don’t try to be too clever. Maybe you can elaborate on what is ‘too clever’.

Jayanti: Thanks for the reminder. It was a beautiful passage and Baba talking about culture and how sometimes you say ‘this is Indian culture. There are some things I like about it and other things I don’t like about it’, and Baba is saying ‘no, it’s Brahmin culture. You are Brahma Baba’s child and so this is the lifestyle you have adopted and sometimes you get bored of just wearing white and you want to wear coloured clothes’. Baba says, well, if you go to work you’re expected to be in normal clothes and that’s fine but don’t think about it as culture or personality. It’s simply because there is a need and you’re doing that according to the need. Then, of course, sometimes you justify it to your instrument and say, Baba said that I can wear this but you forget the context in which it was stated and so that was the description of being too clever. So you pick and choose and you forget the context and the whole of the statement that Baba’s said. You pick up a few words and say: Baba said. And Baba is saying that’s being a little bit too clever, too clever for your own good. So Baba is saying ‘don’t do that, do everything according to a limit, be clever but according to a boundary’. Eat, drink, yes, enjoy but again to a limit, to a boundary. So don’t exceed these boundaries with your cleverness. It’s like sometimes ‘Drama’ - you can make Drama the scapegoat and say, well, it happened, it was in Drama and so I did that. So instead of that realization of the mistake I have made, and I want to put it right, there’s just that thought of well, it’s Drama! No, if I just dismiss it in that way I’ll probably repeat that same mistake, whatever it is that was a mistake. But when I stop and realise and am not being clever about it, I have humility about it. I realise that I’m ready to change then I won’t make Drama the scapegoat and say, oh well, it was in Drama. No, I did it. I made the Drama. So there are many things in which we’re a bit too clever for our own good.

Aruna: Thanks, Jayanti Bhen. During the week somebody sent me a question connected with culture and this person is saying that on the one hand Baba says we shouldn’t be into cultures but there is Brahmin culture, so mostly Baba used to refer to this statement when westerners spoke about it but this person is saying that now we are seeing prominent Indian culture through a lot of the celebrations, a lot of fanfare with regard to decoration, crowns and this and that. So what is your response to that?

Jayanti: I’d say that when you are in Bharat and it’s a huge majority of the Bharat population so they do what comes to them in a natural way and what is easy for them. Big food, cooking for multi-thousands, hospitality in a very, very lavish way. Well, that’s their culture. Yes, it’s a big majority and I can’t say to them ‘make it simple, make it simple’, or even when it’s celebrations, we try and change the culture. No garlands, no crowns, nothing, but they are in the majority at the moment and so, it’s okay. And, when we do things the way we prefer then that’s also fine, then when you’re doing things, whether it’s in the Middle-East or whether it’s in the UK, wherever it is you may be, you do things there according to culture too rather than just pure Brahmin culture in that sense. But in India especially and where there’s a majority I don’t think we can impose our ideas on others.

Aruna: Right, thank you. And, Jayanti Bhen, I think it’s been a while since we talked about Dharam Raj. This waiting in line. Baba said: ‘Do you want to go straight or wait in line?’ Could you talk to us a little about Dharam Raj but make sure you don’t get us scared. Perhaps you can inspire us.

Jayanti: Well, here’s the inspiration. Make Dharam Raj your friend. Which means that if you make a close relationship with Dharam Raj today then you don’t need to be scared of Dharam Raj. Which means, when you say ‘goodnight’, say goodnight to Dharam Raj as your friend and be very open and clear as to what has been the activity through the day and, yes, in that way you’ll be able to settle things as you go along. Then at the end you’ll wave to Dharam Raj and say ‘I’m going’. Baba said, just time to fly, no time to hang around at that time, so just fly off with Baba.

The translation of Dharam Raj is usually Supreme Judge because in that context that is what it is. But the word ‘dharma’ ‘righteousness’ and ‘raj’, the Kingdom of Righteousness. So Dharam Raj is the one who is making sure that there is that filter so that only that which is righteousness and is for the kingdom passes through that filter, and anyone else, and everything else gets stopped at that filter. But, I see that it’s actually just a mirror that Baba’s holding up to us when Baba says that in front of Dharam Raj you’ll have a vision of everything that has happened from the Copper Age till now, and it won’t be a long-lasting time. It’ll be very fast. It’ll be very speedy but things will be highlighted and will come in front of you, that this is what you did and so this is the outcome. It means that we just simply at that moment, facing Baba, we have no excuses, we can’t say that because of this or because of that or because of the other. It’s a time when all excuses have been dropped and I am face to face with what it is that I have done and what it is I need to do at this moment onwards. So that repentance, that realization, of letting go, all of that happens in front of Baba in that role of Dharam Raj. And, so, no, don’t hang around in front of Dharam Raj, settle everything as you go along now and have the realisations that you need to have today so that you can make the changes that you need to make. So that thing of sensitivity, not to keep thinking ‘I’m bad, I’m bad, I’m bad, I’ve done this, I’ve done this, I’ve done this’. But no, ‘what did I do and how can I put it right?’ And so today, that realization, without any sensitivity but just simply realization, and I can say that Dharam Raj is my friend.

Aruna: So, Jayanti Bhen, Dharam Raj is Baba’s form, right, and you’re in front of this very pure and powerful energy and that’s what then triggers, well you see through that your impurity, right?  So you see the contrast. It’s a bit like a white piece of cloth and you see the dirt, right?

Jayanti: Yes.                                                                                                                                              

Aruna: Thank you. And actually what you were just saying, someone had a question from chat so I’ll just take that up. They’re saying they had some karmic account before, about 2-3 years ago, and it’s still fresh in their mind now and it’s preventing them from connecting with Baba. I know you’ve taken these things up before but maybe in the context of Dharam Raj, how to finish it?

Jayanti: Baba gave a very sweet answer in this murli. Baba said, ‘truly hand it over to Me’. You realise, you change, and you say Baba, I don’t want this anymore. I’m done with it and you let go of it. If I keep hanging on to it and I keep emerging that memory and I sustain that memory and I let myself have that self pity or whatever it is that’s coming up for me. If I nurture that then that’s going to stay with me. But Baba is saying, hand it over to Me. It’s not yours. And, if the slightest thought of it comes you just say, Baba, it’s Yours. So you just have to work on yourself and learn to let go. If I’m hanging on to it and say ‘Baba, free me, free me, free me’, it’s not going to work. I actually have to let go of it. And, then it’s finished. It’s when I keep emerging it in my mind that it doesn’t finish. But, when the thought comes, finish, full stop. I don’t want to go back there, so practise these things that Baba’s telling you.

This is the thing that again Baba was pointing out how Baba’s giving you help, Baba’s giving you support, Baba’s giving you power, but instead of taking that help and support from Baba we’re letting ourselves get caught up in things from the past or even things from the present, but Baba is saying, you don’t need to do that. If you want to move forward, this is the method.

Aruna: Thank you. So, Jayanti Bhen, these are some of the questions that have come up in the week. A senior teacher has mentioned that you have a glass and no matter how much you put in the glass, the glass is not going to feel, now the glass is empty or there’s dirt in the glass or there’s diamonds in the glass and they were making this comment because they were saying that in a way the soul is immune to their sanskars. So, Jayanti Bhen, are we purifying the soul or are we purifying the sanskars or is the soul the sanskar?

Jayanti: If the soul is separate to the sanskars where are the sanskars? Are they on my skin, are they in my body? They’re not. The very definition of soul is mind, intellect and sanskars and that is categorical from Baba’s murli. You carry your sanskars with you when you go from one body to the next. That is the karma that you’re carrying. It’s in your sanskars. That’s how it’s recorded. So, first step, the soul is not eternally pure. It’s that idea that the sanyasis have that’s come up in the murli a couple of days ago, of why they’re not able to make the effort to go to Satyug is because they don’t understand what it is that the soul is and they don’t know God but they just want to merge into the Brahm element. So that whole question of purification is a purification of soul and a purification of sanskars. It is both because both things are absolutely together because one is not separate from the other.

Whenever you give an analogy there’s always a limit to the extent you can take the analogy. But think about the buddhi (the intellect), a very simple example. I keep my diet clean and my buddhi is going to stay clean. I drink alcohol, what happens to my buddhi? And I drink a little more than the limit of the breathalyser and wow, there’s maybe an accident, or maybe a fine, or maybe worse. So what I eat and drink, that’s impacting my buddhi, and my buddhi is very much part of the soul and we can see that external influences even are impacting the buddhi and the mind and the sanskars. So today what I want to do is to cleanse everything. I want to clean my mind, study the murli, revise it and churn it. I want to keep my intellect very clean so that the container itself is clean, so that my discernment capacity isn’t impaired and I want to even clean my chip, my memory track, so that I see something and it’s not that it triggers a memory of some impurity of 20 years ago or even yesterday. But no I see somebody and I want to see them with that clean vision of being a child of God. I don’t want to see anything else at all. So the day to day effort we’re making is to change the mind, change the intellect, change the soul. And, then, the sanskars, repeated good karma and yoga, most important of all. It’s only through yoga that I can settle things of the past. There is no other way. That’s why Baba is emphasizing eight hours of yoga. Again and again this comes up in the murli. A lot of yoga is needed to actually transform my sanskars so that the sanskars of Kaliyuga and Dwarpuryuga, the Copper Age and Iron Age don’t manifest. I’m roasting them with the fire of yoga so that they become totally dormant for half the cycle.

Q. Thank you, Jayanti Bhen. And, there was another question. What is love of the intellect?

Jayanti: Baba speaks about the love of the heart and the love of the intellect. And the term that comes in the Gita is ‘Having a loving intellect leads you to victory’. So obviously there’s space for both, the love of the heart which Baba often describes in the avyakt murlis especially, and so that spontaneous love in which I’ve recognized Baba and I’m never going to let go of Baba, no matter what. So the love of the heart is that pure feeling, that spontaneity, that exuberance of belonging to God. And, the love of the intellect, it’s with knowledge I heard Baba’s gyan, I fell in love with Baba through Brahma Baba, and through Baba’s murli and yes, as situations come I’ll deal with them through the power of love of the intellect. If it was just my bhavna, the love of the heart, maybe I wouldn’t really know how to deal with whatever is coming my way. But the love of the intellect, my intellect will be drawn only to One. It won’t be drawn to any other human being. It won’t be drawn to anything external, I want this, I want that, I should have this. No. The buddhi has understood that it’s God who is the Almighty. It’s God who is the source of all attributes and so I’m not interested in anything else. My buddhi is very stable. It is with God. So that love and faith in the intellect leads me to victory. So I love this expression ‘pri buddhi vijayanti’, the loving intellect will give you victory. Of course ‘nischay buddhi’, the faith in the intellect. When they go to buy a pot, an earthenware pot, in summer, they knock the pot and the sound will tell them if there’s a hole somewhere because there’s a difference between …. I don’t know this myself as I’ve not done it but I’m told that when you knock the pot and it’s intact there’s a very nice crisp sound and when there’s a hole somewhere in the pot and you can’t see it, but it’s there, and when you knock it the sound is very different.

And, so the intellect that’s clean and firm and whole and sound, it holds gyan within itself and that gyan is the guiding light.

Q. Beautiful, thank you, Jayanti. So actually there was another question connected with sanskars and this person was saying that we are told that if you are having difficulty with something or someone – too much attachment or something – then you should avoid it, ignore it. So they’re asking, is that a good method, that you step away from that or you move away? Because, only later, you realise you hadn’t really dealt with it. So is that a good solution, to just step away, from the food you’re attached to or the person. What is the benefit of that?

Jayanti: I think it’s good as a temporary measure in which you’re giving yourself a chance to recover and to change that pattern of behaviour. So, here’s someone I like and I want to spend time in their company and so I’m indulging myself and spending time and company with them. And I say it was so useful, it was so beautiful, so powerful. I’ll justify it in many different ways. But, basically, I had that desire to spend time with this individual. So, if I keep feeding myself that possibility, I think the attachment is just going to grow. It’s not going to be dealt with. But if I say, for the next month, I don’t need to phone them, I don’t need to see them. I know what their timetable is. I know what my timetable is and I’m going to make sure that my timetable is different to theirs so that I’m not giving excess time to being in the same place as the other for whatever reason. So just give yourself some breathing space so that you have a chance to come back into connection with God without the distraction of the human and, then, yes, after a month ask yourself the question, ‘how did I do?’, and be absolutely honest with yourself and through that there will be a greater awareness of what I need to do and you’ll be able to make it and move on further. Otherwise by just keeping feeding yourself with the addiction when are you going to change the addiction? It’s not going to happen.

Q. So, as a temporary measure it’s good, then you build your immunity and then you can engage.

Jayanti: Then you can see to what extent your sanskar has changed.

Q.  Another theme that’s been coming up is, people have been going to Madhuban and I’ve heard this from a few people now and they’re saying that we don’t feel the love anymore in Madhuban. They don’t see the Dadis. Whatever was the past it’s not there anymore, the sustenance, the type, the kind or consistent sustenance is not there. So what is your answer to that?

Jayanti: I’ll say that out of the hundreds of people I’ve met in Madhuban I don’t think I’ve heard anybody say that. Some of the oldies will say we are missing Dadi but we understand that we have to make the effort to feel her presence. There were 350 people in the last group, and I don’t say that I met all 350 of them but I met a good few of them and the past group before that I met several of them and the general consensus is that you have to make your own effort in Madhuban to benefit from Madhuban. But Madhuban still has that beautiful atmosphere, it still has all the facilities you need to make fast track progress and to move forward. But yes it’s true, you’re not going to be spoon-fed anymore, to pamper you, to single you out in the murli but if that’s what was supporting you then I think it’s a big signal that it’s time to grow up and to give the return of what you have received.

New ones don’t complain about missing the Dadis because they didn’t meet them and we saw some of those also and they were intoxicated. One particular individual I know who’s a zoom baby – people who came to Madhuban for the first time and who took gyan, the 7-days’ course during lockdown and who’ve come to the centre only a few times maybe, but the zoom babies were highly intoxicated. And, this thing, ‘what’s there in Madhuban now?’ I do think it’s the older ones who haven’t understood that they are now the seniors. It doesn’t matter about stage or title, or teacher or badge or anything like that, if I’ve taken sustenance through the Dadis I am definitely more senior than all the zoom babies who are coming along now. So what is my responsibility? Surely it’s now to be able to give others that company, that sustenance. Ask several people and each one will give you a different response but the majority I would say took huge benefit and yes I know there were a few who, for health reasons or different things they weren’t so happy but I think it’s important to realise this is a signal to the end of the kalpa and so think about the fact that when the Dadis came to Madhuban they only came for Baba. They didn’t come for anything else. There weren’t even classes through the day. That was initiated in 1968 – classes – extra through the day. Just months before Brahma Baba left. What Baba told them was ‘When you come to Madhuban, have a Bhatti. Put yourself into a furnace and take benefit from everything that is in Madhuban’. And, of course, numberwise according to effort some of the Dadis took on that mantle of responsibility and they gave and gave and gave and gave. But today, that’s what motivates me. How much have I received from Baba and the Dadis, not just one Dadi but all the Dadis, so what can I do to help others come closer to Baba, to help others know who the Dadis are, and to learn all the lessons they can from all their classes and books. There’s a huge amount of material available about them all. So I think, understand that Madhuban is the airport but you need to provide yourself with the fuel to make your plane lift off.

Q.  Yes, Jayanti Bhen, there are many pluses. I wasn’t saying that. I was just mentioning the love aspect but thank you for your answers. Maybe we’ll take just one more question as I know you’ll have to go. This is from the chat. If the soul is not ever-pure and that we experience soul consciousness, what is that? Is that imagination?

Jayanti: Not at all. Baba is igniting the light and when I’m practising soul consciousness I’m experiencing the light that God has ignited in me through God’s love and through knowledge and so I’m feeling it, I’m experiencing it and the more soul consciousness I am the easier it is to keep that awareness and that experience. Just recently in one of Baba’s … and it came about in two murlis consequently, sakar murlis… Baba said, first is soul consciousness, next step is feel God’s love and then the third step is follow God’s srimat. And if you do those consecutively, yes, you will reach your destination.

Q.  That’s lovely. What a nice thought to end on. First, be soul consciousness, feel God’s love and then follow srimat.

Jayanti: It came in two murlis and I was fascinated that Baba was underlining these three steps in that way.

Om shanti

 

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Sudesh Didi – 19th April 2022 Evening Class - GCH, London Question and Answer on Personal Effort

27 April 2022

Sr Parul: Om shanti. It's a pleasure and an honour to ask you some questions on effort. It is the whole family here, but it is an intimate conversation with you. It is about the effort that we are making, and your guidance on what to do more.  

Before I went to Madhuban, I was very aware of this practice of soul consciousness. I've been increasing that practice of seeing and feeling that I'm a soul. When I look at others, to go beyond the body, and to really be aware that I'm talking to the soul, I'm seeing the soul. But I find that it's very slippery. Yesterday, when we all went for the walk, I was very consciously aware that I'm a soul. But you take five steps, and you forget. And again, I have to remind myself. Everything in the world, the people around, all draw us out of that soul consciousness. And Brahma Baba made that effort, practising I'm a soul. I'm a soul; Yashoda is a soul, Yashoda is a soul.

 

1 The Practice of Soul Consciousness

Sr Parul:  What is it that you have done to instil that awareness of soul consciousness and then secondly, how have you then kept it going?

Sudesh Didi: Om Shanti. Soul consciousness; the word itself explains its meaning. But it is about what we practise. Words are okay, soul-conscious; the expression has been used many times and heard many times.

What is the understanding of Om Shanti? And what is the feeling of Om Shanti, peace, or soul conscious. In other words, not only just to think, but to feel I am a soul. And to look into oneself, what I'm feeling, and from my feeling, from my actions, my connections and reactions, I know that I am not soul conscious, because to feel the qualities is soul consciousness. It means, I am conscious of the soul, who I am, I am a soul, not only, I think. I am a soul anyway, and I was a soul before and if I leave the body, I will be a soul.

So, I am a soul, that is knowledge. But what is the meaning of soul? And how the soul is called soul? Why not body? Then I start thinking about it. Based on knowledge, I start thinking, okay, I am the mind. The function of my mind is thinking and the function of the intellect is understanding, discrimination between right and wrong decisions. And so, what I want to decide now, at this moment, and what I'm observing now, again and again, in between, I check. And as you said, after five steps, or 10 steps, or 10 minutes, thoughts have changed. Because it is a natural state of the mind to think. We think what we have heard; we think we have seen; we think what we have eaten; we think what we are planning, so it's natural.  So, I started thinking, I am a soul, after coming to Baba. I said to myself, I am a soul; I am a living soul, of course. What is living in me? So, my first quality of the soul is purity. And, so, as original self, I am pure; as original self, I have come from the soul world.

So, my natural nature is purity and the nature in the soul world is peace. Both. I have come here from there.

It means these two qualities must be in me, while walking, talking, sitting, eating, especially while eating food. At that time, we used to practise eating food in silence. So, every time when I am chewing, I say I am a pure and peaceful soul, I am a pure and peaceful soul. This practice became very natural, walking, talking, sitting and eating. When I was walking, I would speak to myself, I'm a pure and peaceful soul. But I felt that I was also speaking to Baba at that time, and this feeling of belonging: I am Baba's child. I am the child of God. It is not only words. I, the soul, am the child of God. Then, the Godly qualities which I understood: I am the child of the Almighty Authority. I am the child of the Purifier.

My first experience of soul consciousness made me feel that my feet were not on the ground. I used to come from my university, with a notebook in my hand. As soon as I got up, I would definitely practise while sitting on the bus for half an hour or 40 minutes. I would have the thought that I am a pure and peaceful soul. I don't think that I was consciously thinking that this person is a soul, that person is a soul; just myself. And when I got off the bus, I thought, but I, the soul, am the child of God, what a great fortune. This feeling made me feel so ecstatic, so much joy that, as I was walking, I had a feeling that my feet were not on the ground. It was about five minutes’ walk from the bus stop to the centre in Delhi. So halfway through, I got off the bus, and then there was an area where there were many trees. The atmosphere was good, but that day was a windy day, and there were some dry leaves on the ground. Anyway, I continued to walk; I am a pure and peaceful soul; I am a child of God. With this, I felt I was floating.

Then, one or two leaves blew, and touched my feet. It was summertime and I was wearing flip-flops with open straps. When the leaves touched my feet, I became aware and wondered what people would think of me with the way I'm walking. So, matter, a touch of matter, had changed my feeling: What would people think of me? And I felt I was dropped. It was exactly like the experience when you are sleeping. You are quietly floating and you feel in bed, and then you have come down. Maybe some of you have this experience; like something dropped. You are not feeling weight when you are sleeping. Then, you become aware of the weight, or maybe there is another explanation, I do not know the philosophy. But it was the same feeling. It was like now I have weight, and my body touched the ground.

So, I lost what I was experiencing. What I had experienced in these three minutes or two minutes was amazing. So, I feel that it is a good way not to think of other people at that time, or this will mean I am disconnecting myself with Baba, in meditation. This was walking meditation. It is the same with thinking meditation, which would not allow me to connect myself with Baba, and also create obstacles, because all the worldly things will influence me. So, this intoxication, this practice, till even now, this first thought, I'm a pure and peaceful soul, after 60 years, it is the same. I think, and at that very moment, in a second, instantly, it is just like something is plugged in or switched on. So, there is this bliss.

 

2 The Qualities Expressed in Soul Consciousness

Sr Parul:  I appreciate what you're saying. And when I was in Madhuban, one of the things that I had an experience was the fullness of the soul. And you know, whenever I remember or that experience, I bring back to the fullness of the soul, then it's like, even though I may be in the body and I'm aware of the body, I'm much much more aware of the soul that I am. So, like you're saying the pure and peaceful soul.

Sudesh Didi:  It's not only to feel, but you feel the qualities of others. The word consciousness itself is that, you are able to communicate with others; you are able to recognise others; you are able to express. In the unconscious stage the soul is there, but is not able to express; one cannot even share what they are experiencing, whether is sadness or happiness. Soul consciousness means that it should express its qualities.

Sr Parul: You mean automatically.

Sudesh Didi:  Yes, and for others as well. For me, walking, talking even now. One song at that time was "Aye Mere Meethe Baba. Tujape mae kurbaan..."  (singing the song: Aye Mere Meethe Baba) Oh my sweet Baba, my heart is surrendered to You. You are my Mother. You are my Father. You are my Mother, You are my Father. So, I actually develop the relationship, not only I'm a soul, otherwise, how will this be ignited? How would this energy, inner current be sustained? So, it is a connection, not only soul conscious. Just soul-conscious, the awareness does not remain for a long time if the connection with Baba was not there. And I would feel, then, the attention is going here and there, or if something is not nice according to my thinking, my vibration within myself, and my words are different. Instantly. Whatever I'm connected to, it will show, it expresses itself. This is why I'm connected with Baba.

Sr Parul:  So, it starts off with the awareness of myself as the soul. And then, the automatic connection with Baba. So, I feel, for myself, the more I am soul-conscious, and I'm aware of who I am, like you say, as Baba's child. Then Baba comes into my mind. So, tell me so automatically, then the next step is Baba. You're right, absolutely. You're saying that the moment I think of the body, I'm down on the floor. I drop. So, the awareness, the attention...

Sudesh Didi:  I felt it though. Just like something was hooked there, and that it dropped. Not gradually lose it, it has just dropped.

 

3 The Relationship with Baba

Sr Parul:  After we dropped, we have to make effort to pick ourselves up again. So now, thinking about Baba, I'm a child of Baba. You're talking about Baba is teaching me, I am surrendered to Baba.

 So, tell us, what are the beautiful relationships or the beautiful feelings you have in terms of your connection to Baba? What inspires you and keeps you with Baba?

Sudesh Didi:  Because what Baba speaks in the Murli, and as He's speaking, I read the Murli with this consciousness that, Baba is speaking to me. And the Murli is speaking to me, sweet child, sweet child. Although it is three pages, in between, I pick up some thoughts, some words, some points, and then I respond to Him: You told me this point in the morning, this is what You told me. So, if I am not able to remember all the points or the whole Murli, but one point from here and there, what touches me, what I like very much, I appreciate those points inside. Then I speak back to Him: It was wonderful what You said.

Like today, before coming here. I started speaking out loud: Really, truly You are right. You love us so much. Why don't we do the same thing? Why? I accept it. I respect it. Baba says, "Why don't you listen to Me?" And I realise that, we hear the Murli, but we don't listen. So, one time, I asked Brahma Baba, "Baba says that Brahma Baba listens to the Murli first. Baba. You said you listen first. But we are also listening to the same thing. When Shiv Baba was speaking. He was speaking in front of everyone. How did you hear it first? Is it Baba speaking to you first inside? He said no. What Baba is speaking, He's speaking at that time. But the difference is, I listen to Him and you hear the Murli.

Sr Parul:  One is listening, one is hearing.

Sudesh Didi:  Hearing it means my ears have taken it. Listening means doing something practically otherwise, it is not listening, and the message has not reached the person. A human being can argue, they say, "But I have heard you." They say they are listening, but the attention is somewhere else. We say, "Do this," "Have you done this?"  They say, "I'm listening.”, visually (pretending). At that time, I am also expecting from them, that they should do what I asked immediately. If I'm losing patience, it means I'm connected with them, connected with my desire or my wish, not with Baba. So, I check myself during the day, with a very good barometer or thermometer to check my own stage and so, it helps. If something is not pleasant, I don't want to keep something unpleasant for a long time, because I am at a loss while the other person is also at a loss. Instead of coming close, we are losing respect and love for each other, and I am making it difficult for myself, not to mention anybody else. So, I speak to myself then, so that it does not remain for a long time, that wording in my mind. Even though I can remember the incident and I can repeat the words, but I am totally detached, sometimes I remember it in a joke form; sometimes I reform myself; sometimes I realise. So, in this way, I keep checking, and progress takes place.

 

4  The Burdens and Bondages

Sr Parul:  It is so very interesting, you talk about listening to what Baba says in the Murli, not just hearing it saying, yes, that was very nice. So, in that listening, one of the things that Baba has talked about recently. Even in the Sakar Murli really, Baba is reminding us about staying within shrimat. In the Avyakt Murli, Baba has talked about, how the leakage is happening because of carelessness or small, small mistakes. And then this becomes a burden on us. And then that stops us flying. So, my question around that is, you've been here now with us for a while, what are the things that you know, you think and you've seen that we need to pay attention to that we're not listening to or hearing what Baba is saying? What are the things that we need to pay attention to, maybe things we're being a little careless about, which then become a burden and stop us from flying?

Sudesh Didi: Baba is speaking about when abhiman comes, ego comes in, and we are not able to serve others. On this basis, I actually as Baba mentioned, on the last Murli, that here I am speaking, I am conscious that I am speaking to you, who plays the part of Parul, but I am speaking to the soul in a spiritual conversation. While seeing this one as a soul, this is all fine, what breaks the link? It becomes a burden or bondage when, while serving others, you feel that they should respect what I'm saying, they should value it or should acknowledge it. If this comes to my mind, Baba said this is impurity. Think about not only just meditation, but your waste thoughts are based on. Where did you get your ability? Wherever you got it from, you are just passing it on to others. 

I always use the glass example. Water is in the glass, and the glass is an instrument. You don't bite the glass; you drink the water. If you will try to bite the glass you will hurt yourself. The glass does not become possessive; if it is milk, the glass is very happy, if it is water, the glass is sad, if dust is put in, it is sulking and say I won't help you. No. In the same way, what Baba is putting in me, it is His property. And if I say, it is mine, then my account actually been created with that soul, because it is not being a trustee. What I've been given, I am just passing it on to another person, and you cannot say, this is mine. Generally, somebody gives a gift, this person says to keep it incognito, then we give okay, the gift for you. Otherwise, we mentioned this person has given you a gift. So simple.

So, here, I am Baba's property and I am handing it over. If I think it is mine, I am creating a new account that they should at least nod their heads, looking for acceptance and appreciation, that creates bondage. When others are speaking about someone and you know that this kind of nature is in that person and you have experienced it already. But then if some other person is speaking and you are listening with interest, and nodding your head, what account is being made? Now, the double account is made. That person will always come and make you a dustbin; whatever the problems, whatever situations, whatever upset, they will put in you. Even if you are good, your vision will also be changed. My vision will change at that time. And I experienced this, this is one kind of account.

The other thing is bondage, that I say yes, yes. I have also experienced this. So, I am making the other people's karmic account stronger, they made it 20 times more themselves and, when I say yes, they will say, she also had the same experience and instead of speaking as themselves, they will say, "Didi was saying this about you." So, it means that I am now such a complicated instrument that I am making others function, instead of the right functioning, it is the wrong functioning. So, that burden because it is sin, it's a bondage. It's separation. It's the wrong thing. So, I should be careful and not take an interest in it. Listen, it is also important, but don't add your comments on it, otherwise, by adding your comment, you become the partner of that business and you get a share. This is what Baba meant by bondage. It's my responsibility to keep myself safe and also, not encourage people.

But fear inside does not allow it. The reason? You think this person needs help, and if I don't hear or see the same thing, that person will get upset with me. So, in a very, very royal way, I want to support that. This is bondage and this is the new karmic account we create at the present time. Baba has said there are past karmic accounts, and you are creating a new account, what about yoga? Even though you have had yoga, you are actually burning the past, yet you are creating a new one. The result will be that you don't experience happiness and you will get tired very quickly, and your nature is very sensitive. So, I want to make it clear, because I feel that anything which is making me sensitive, we need to be aware.  Baba says, Child, you are My sensible children what happened to me? Am I sensitive or sensible, knowledgeable or do I only have knowledge?

So, I talked to myself. It means my energy and time is not spent on them, but spent to keep myself safe.
 

5  Old Karmic Account

Sr Parul: Just to add another aspect to what you mentioned in connection with someone, that it might be an old karmic account that is coming through, whereby the feeling may not be the right feeling. What do you do then?

Sudesh Didi:  It means in my heart, I have not worked on myself to remove or erase the old feelings. Memory will not disappear, that will remain because we are living until we die alive, with such intense practice that we die from this old body, then we will forget. Otherwise, 50%, 10%, 5% of what we see in the world, you remember. If I say it is karmic account, that the other person has vomited or expressed, perhaps it is also my test. If I say karmic account, then I will do something wrong. If I say, Oh, it must be some karmic account, if I'm thinking this one's karmic account, then, what I am saying, is also becoming a karmic account.

Sr Parul: I really like what you say about the fact that the memory will be there, but if I have no feeling about it, it means that burden is gone.

Sudesh Didi:  It means I've erased it. And, if I'm losing my happiness, if I spend a lot of time on what has passed, it means I am not capable of letting go. the result is I don't love myself. I can only love others when I love myself.

Sr Parul: That goes back to the stage of soul consciousness.

Sudesh Didi: And keep that quality within me. Don't throw it away. Even if my child is hurt, I should heal; not that my child is hurt and I hurt myself again and again. So, happiness is my child. Why should I lose it? Why should I let others hurt me one time, and I hurt myself another 20 times? Then, I have created account with me, not only with the other person. We are here to settle the account. So, this attention and checking protect me from having an off-mood, or sulking with others. I would make an excuse to talk about one point of knowledge or another, even if there is nothing to talk about, still I will speak about something because I know that it is safety for myself.

6  Karmateet Stage

Sr Parul: I'm just going to go back to this question of the bondages. So, you talked about this whole aspect of the feeling of I have done something and then I want the acceptance; I want acknowledgment and appreciation. And then, the second aspect of talking about someone and being a partner in a conversation. Anything else?

Sudesh Didi: The result of that karmic account is suffering. I will also suffer. I am making effort to become karmateet. When I become karmateet and leave the body, I will not know what karma is. The karmateet stage has to be experienced here. So, if it is a karma bondage, then I free myself from suffering, and I am free from making others suffer. So, I'm not creating new account, and I am also erasing my old account, which I created with many. The karmateet stage Baba speaks is about being free from the negativity of other people's karma; no reaction; no action actually. Their drishti and their face when they will look at you, may have a negative expression. If you are noticing them, of how they are sending vibrations, it means I'm being affected. I feel this person is speaking unnecessary words about me. I have now created unnecessary words in the vibrations.

Sr Parul: So, the other person can keep on giving the feelings, the vibrations, and whatever they want to do, but I am beyond.

Sudesh Didi: Yes, being vibrations-proof and negative-proof is one aspect of being karmateet. Another aspect is that your own defect does not come into expression; effect and defect. What is perfection? Free from outer effect, not only keeping myself safe, but, if a situation has created, and that it is affecting me, at that time, my defect will also become powerful because if I don't have tolerance, I don't have the power to merge it, I don't have the power to let go; I don't have the power to forgive; I don't have the power to remember Baba at that time. So, it is a new account to be reaching a good quality stage, but we are not keeping ourselves safe when others are behaving not with respect or creating new account. So, this is another aspect of karma.

 

7 Free from Effect and Defect

Sr Parul: When that is happening or you're seeing the vibrations, what do you do to stop yourself from getting affected?

Sudesh Didi: It is this because the vibrations are coming. So, it must be something that I have to repair.

Sr Parul: To repair within yourself.

Sudesh Didi: Yes, I should repair myself and I should keep my vision and my attitude good for them, I am getting the vibrations and I know hatred, I can see jealousy, I can see the kind of hurt and disappointment when they did not achieve what they wanted. So, now if I keep this vibration then, it means it has not finished; they have not created a new account. But to create good wishes again. I compare myself in how long it takes me to finish my weaknesses. 62 years. If I am not able to do it in 62 years, how can I expect others who have been practising for six years to reach it. So, a person who has reached a master degree level, and he is comparing himself with a child, saying the child should also do it like me. On the one side, I'm seeing them as a child and I want to teach them and other side I preach to them saying they should be also on my level. So, it is a mirror; looking at my face in the mirror of knowledge helps me see, not physical stains, but the stain on my mind, the stain on my intellect, or my own sanskaras. So, this is just Baba said.

Sr Parul: The little things are what create the burden in I, the soul, and stop me from flying.

Sudesh Didi: So, to reach perfect the stage, become free from defect and free from effect.

 

8 Stage of Perfection

Sudesh Didi: I received a written question this morning. Someone asked: Baba says each one is numberwise. If we are numberwise and reach our own stage of perfection, we become 100% according to our capacity. When we go back home, because in our perfect stage according to my capacity, when we go to through the subtle region, will we say goodbye or hello to Dharamraj because I have reached my level of perfection?

Sr Parul: So, we're all numberwise and we all have our own perfection stage. Can you clarify that?

Sudesh Didi: This means in certain aspects I am too careless to understand and accept that though I believe I am 100%, I need to measure it with God's vision. That's why, He encourages me to be 100%. He doesn't get upset. He just says okay, each one is numberwise. So, it is His love and mercy. Like yesterday in the Murli, Baba used the word verify: Verify whatever you are doing is right: when you are content, others are content with you, you are satisfied with your efforts. Others should give you a certificate.  So, automatically, our final stage will be such that I am able to give myself a certificate by looking at myself through Baba's glasses, with the measurement of what Baba wants us to become.

Sr Parul:  Today Baba says to look in the mirror of your heart. One is to just say out of careless that, yes, I've reached my perfect stage. But if I really look, my conscience will bite because I have not really done what I need to do.

Sudesh Didi: That's what it means to conquer the subtle ego or body consciousness. In body consciousness, I'm conscious of the wrong things, but am not able to handle them. Instead, I fight with it. The difference is we still fight; we fight with why it is happening. When it comes to our own weakness, we also fight with it. If we fight within our weaknesses by really working on myself, then it works. I feel the change has taken place. But if I fight to change others, I'm losing my own flight. I cannot fly; I cannot remain light. This is why I have my own Dharamraj, before going in front of Baba as Dharamraj. Baba is the Mirror and my own conscience is the mirror. Baba wants us to see ourselves properly; Baba is also seeing me properly.

 

9  Healing Relationship

Sr Parul:  Okay, my second last question is to do with two aspects. One is that we know that there is someone that we have to repair the relationship with or make things better, somebody who is within our family. Baba talked about it in the Sakar Murli that our relationships should be good with each other in the family, too. And we know that sometimes it's not something that can happen physically. So, what kind of thoughts do you create in your mind to heal that relationship?

Sudesh Didi : Baba said if negative vibrations, negative tendencies can affect them, the positive can also affect them accordingly. Check your thoughts, whether you are calling it positive, loving, or forgiving, are you just giving the title to the word that you are thinking, or is it that inside the cover, you have the genuine material. Are you only giving an empty container? Checking, as much good wishes are filled in me, that much it will reach them, definitely. If the attitude is that, I forgive this person, but think that this person is never going to change, I am cursing that person, as Baba says. This thought can curse the person; by saying he will never change; I am contributing to his loss.

If my personality is so powerful, that with my thought, I will curse, then my personality should be more powerful in giving good wishes, because it's God's personality. So, it should work, but humility is needed. Not that I want, but Baba wants, and He wants me to become the instrument to heal that person. It is in the same glass, from water, it becomes milk; from milk, comes juice; from the juice. comes nectar.

 

10 Experience with the Seniors

Sr Parul: You've spent a lot of time with Mamma. Maybe you can give an example of the kinds of feelings and thoughts that she had for everyone, where the container contains so much love.

Sudesh Didi: When this love develops into reality, then love naturally flows. Then, it does not make a difference whether you know that person or not.  A flower which is filled with fragrance, it doesn't matter whether somebody puts it on the table or on the floor, its fragrance continues. When you break it, it is even more fragrant. So, when tests come in front of me, instead of losing power, I should be more powerful; this is called self-respect. Self-respect does not mean that you respect me because I am better than you. Self-respect is you think the worst of me, and at that time, I show my qualities.

Sr Parul: So, do you remember any incidents of how loving Mamma and Baba were and the effect it had on the children? Maybe you can share an example.

Sudesh Didi: It has been my fortune that I always lived with the most senior ones, even with the Dadis. When I was in Delhi, I first lived with Gulzar Dadi and Didi Manmohini, at the other centre where I took birth. Didi Manmohini was very powerful, very wise lady. Yagya controller of all the systems. Her sustenance is strong, but very powerful. She was very straightforward, similar to the way in Sakar Mulris when we hear Baba says, you our monkeys, you are like ants, insects of the dirt. But we don't get upset. We love it, even when He says I change you from monkeys to the ones worthy to be in the temple. We enjoy it, because, like Baba, her intention was pure even though her words were strong. 

 

11 Sakaash

Sr Parul:  The last question is:  In our big global family, the whole world, there is a lot of suffering. We would like to hear, from your experience, how you send sakaash to the world.

Sudesh Didi:  I don't actually use the term, I give sakaash, because I don't give sakaash. When we use this language, I am giving sakassh, in fact, it is good wishes that I have and, with pure feelings. I know that people need this. They are suffering: there is fear, there is tension, there are worries, we can understand it. With our own stage, when they are close to us, we can help them even with a few words. But sending sakaash from a distance to those we do not even know, and we say, we are giving sakaash to the souls in the whole world.

When I sit in meditation, I sit in front of Baba, and I say: These are Your children. Baba, please use me as an instrument so that my vibrations are reaching there. But it is Your power that is working." Just like the example of the Solar system; The Sun is so far, Baba, the Supreme is so far, but His power is like the sun and we are the mirror. He says we are the mirror to reveal Him. The glass on the mirror reflects the sunlight so much that it radiates heat to create a fire to cook vegetables, and heat water and everything. So, Baba makes me an instrument. Let them have this power. So, not that I am giving power. I have good wishes, and He does the job.

Summary

Sr Parul:   Thank you so much. I would like to underline a couple of things that I've taken for myself today: the whole aspect of reminding myself again, it's not just a soul, but that self-respect that Baba is giving us souls. In essence, be detached from everything with a lot of love, but not get affected. So, I can stay beyond the effect and the defect, both of those. Your answer to the last question was very much about not taking anything that I am doing myself. Thank you. Acknowledging everyone who is listening and watching on the webcast, thank you for joining us. Didi, would you like to say Om Shanti to them?

Sudesh Didi:  Om shanti. I know you are listening though I am not able to see you. You are listening with interest; you are giving your time and attention. Thanks to you. In fact, the inspiration has come from 'there'; it has filled the 'glass' and it is handed over to you. So, thanks to you, thanks to Baba, and the fortune of me, it's my fortune. Om shanti.

 

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